Jon Stewart On Trump’s MSG Rally: “Generally A Lineup You See Outside Yelling At Strangers”

TV

Jon Stewart is back and rejuvenated, on the heels of the announcement earlier today that he re-upped his deal with Comedy Central to remain as host of The Daily Show through next year.

“This is my last show before the election, but not my last show. I’m coming back, baby. We’re doing another year,” the host said, to cheers and applause, while dancing (even doing some moves from Charli XCX’s viral “Apple” dance).

The political comic kicked things off with addressing the presidential candidates’ respective final pushes to get out the vote ahead of Election Day Nov. 5. He quipped about Beyoncé’s appearance at Kamala Harris’ event (“No singing? F— it, I’m voting for Trump”) and promptly laid into the headline-churning Donald Trump rally in his own backyard at New York City’s Madison Square Garden.

After playing a mash-up of increasingly vitriolic clips of the speakers, ending on Tucker Carlson’s cackling face, Stewart joked, “I will never not be charmed by his girlish laugh.”

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He continued, “Now, generally, that’s a lineup you see outside Madison Square Garden, yelling at strangers as they try to get inside Madison Square Garden. And, let me just say, how dare they desecrate the stage that the Piano Man has consecrated? How dare you? How f—ing dare you?”

Stewart then addressed comedian Tony Hinchcliffe, whose racist jokes directed at Puerto Ricans has summoned up a firestorm of backlash from both the public and the media, spurring rare damage control from Trump’s camp.

“In retrospect, having a roast comedian come to a political rally a week before Election Day and roasting a key voting demographic is probably not the best decision by the campaign politically, but, to be fair, the guy’s just doing what he does,” Stewart said. The host then played a clip of Hinchcliffe’s material from the Tom Brady roast a few months ago, which included material about Jewish folks and enslaved people.

“Yes, yes, terrible,” Stewart responded, unable to help his laughter. “There’s something wrong with me. I find that guy very funny, so I’m sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, bringing him to a rally and have him not do roast jokes, that’d be like bringing Beyoncé to a rally and not have—oh.”

Stewart then segued into skewering Trump’s mass deportation policy, a topic tackled by fellow late-night host John Oliver just yesterday. “Day 1? Have a snack, meet the staff,” Steward said of Trump’s plan to implement the wildly unwieldy plan on his first day. “Day 1 is, typically, we just read the syllabus, there’s generally no homework.”

Commenting on videos played during the show, Stewart pointed out Trump’s unreliable statistics, outlining his estimates of the number to deport as somewhere “between 2 and eleventy billion people.”

“We’re only deporting people who’ve come here illegally, or people who have come here legally but sneaky-legally, or people who have children who are actually citizens, or some people who look like they may have come here illegally, or people that have protested the war in Gaza, or a special prosecutor who Trump doesn’t like, Jack Smith — which, by the way, name a more American name than Jack f—ing Smith. Where are you gonna deport him to, Faneuil Hall in Boston?” Stewart said.

He continued, referencing an earlier incident where Trump wasn’t able to accurately identify his wife in a photograph: “Right now, you think you’re safe ’cause the group Trump’s talking about, it’s not you. As if, ‘Are you sure this isn’t my wife?’ Donald Trump can tell the f—ing difference or even cares.”

While Stewart continued to lament this moment in U.S. politics, he was shocked to find himself interrupted by show-stealing fan-favorite Jessica Williams, a former correspondent on the show. In keeping with the program’s theme, she unleashed some roasts of her own.

“Don’t be sad. Everything’s gonna be OK. For you — a white guy, a rich old white guy,” she said. When asked if his privilege will save him, Williams answered, “Maybe. But, honestly, how much longer do you really have, living wise? You have a terminal D[isease], right?”

Williams then conceded that Stewart must be tired from “grinding it out” on the show on a daily basis, prompting a “double woof” comment when Stewart — now unable to keep in character — responded that he only hosts on Mondays.

Finishing off with some witty yet earnest advice and cautioning against political apathy, Williams said, “Let go, Jon, I’ll tell them your story,” to which he answered that he had signed on with the show for another year.

“Oh my God, you crazy,” Williams said. “You think you’re gonna live for another year? That’s optimistic.”

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