Now that the upfronts are over, it’s time to hand out much-deserved accolades to those who made this year’s presentations truly unforgettable.
Just remember, everyone’s a winner here. But these folks made the week extra special in New York.
Most Ominous Overture: Kelly Clarkson kicking off a week of upfronts that used to be the sole proprietorship of broadcast networks with tunes like “Whatever Makes You Stronger” and “Since U Been Gone.”
Best Dressed Code Breakers: Men like Bob Iger, Casey Bloys, Mike Hopkins and Rob Wade for appearing without ties. Nothing says we are hemorrhaging money more than a nude neck.
Earworm Award: Beyoncé’s Texas Hold ‘Em and Miley Cyrus’ Flowers that were played on a loop.
Best Joke of the Week: “NBC is launching the new adventure Destination X,” said Seth Meyers at the NBCU upfront. “It was originally titled the Linda Yaccarino story.”
Biggest Scene Stealer: All those studio movies that simply can’t wait their turn to shine at CinemaCon and Comic-Con. They want to take over the upfronts now, too.
“Is That a Threat” Award: Fox News’ Bret Baier and Dana Perino touting their election coverage by saying “we’ll be with America every step of the way.”
Biggest Letdown: ABC News anchor David Muir saying “I’m not here to talk about Stormy Daniels.”
Most Ironic Catchphrase Ever From a Studio Currently Trading at $8.04 a Share: the WBD Effect.
Unintentional Attempt At A Stand Up Set: Fox programming chief Rob Wade, who was asked multiple times by Jamie Foxx to get up from his chair.
Dawson’s Crack Award: Fox has invited celebrities like James Van Der Beek and Taye Diggs to strip for cancer charities this fall in the two-hour special The Real Full Monty.
Things We Never Want to Hear On An Upfront Stage Again: “Are the kids ready to see grandma get raw dogged in a jacuzzi?” quipped Jimmy Kimmel about the new Golden Bachelorette.
The CSI: Upfront Prize: Can someone get Gil Grissom in here to investigate the death of the Paramount presentation at Carnegie Hall? Seriously, Shari Redstone — way to not showcase your best assets.
Longest Grudge Award: Shonda Rhimes referencing her move from ABC to Netflix seven years ago by saying that she’s doing things that can’t always be done on broadcast television. “The definition of a Netflix show is one that people like to watch,” she said.
Most Apropos Presentation: Amazon kept its guests waiting outside of Pier 36, which delayed the start of the presentation. Kimmel later quipped, “I heard Amazon left you guys out on the porch. You’re lucky you didn’t get stolen.””
Best Kicker to the Week: Conan O’Brien telling the crowd at the Warner Bros. Discovery presentation that “none of the statistics given today are real.”