For those of you who have never docked at FBoy Island, the breakout reality format that CW scooped up after HBO Max cleaned house, host Nikki Glaser offered a brief explainer at the top of the Oct. 16 premiere.
“Women have been forced to tolerate the manipulative douche-baggery of Fboys for far too long,” she said of self-absorbed bachelors who, ahem, get busy and then get lost. “That’s why we’re here.”
So begins the third season of the STX-produced hit, which the CW acquired in March after beating out a number of other bidders. The Nexstar-owned network also picked up the spinoff, FGirl Island, which will premiere in 2024.
At first glance, FBoy Island looks like yet another copycat of TV’s myriad dating shows. (The showrunner and executive producer, Elan Gale, used to work on The Bachelor). But in this case, three women speed date 24 men while trying to figure out who are the 12 self-proclaimed “nice guys” and who are the remaining “FBoys,” straight-up tool bags who are just there just to compete for the $100,000 prize.
Even Glazer doesn’t know who among the men are so-called Fboys.
This season’s love-seeking single ladies are Daniella Grace, a 33-year-old former competitive snowboarder from Lake Tahoe who started the show by saying, “why God am I here.” (Girl, same). Then, there is Hali Okeowo, a 28-year-old model from Brooklyn, who wants to “find a boo.” There’s also Katie Thurston, 32, a San Diego comedienne who’s an old pro at canoodling with strange men on TV; she lead season 17 of The Bachelorette on ABC.
The action kicked off with each guy trying to make a good first impression so they’ll earn the right for private time later with the gals. Anyone who rubs his hands together in a devilish manner or humps the floor in some awkward attempt to appear fly is, quite literally, red flagged.
Among those who passed the initial smell test Monday were Bryce, an “aspiring influencer” from Los Angeles who pretended to play football before saying “I would be crazy to fumble you girls” and Vince, a trial lawyer who said, “I’m going to do my best to court you.” There is also a pair of identical twins, but they didn’t win alone time because twins coming on a reality show is “the kind of thing Fboys do,” declared Okeowo.
The mingling played out just how you would expect: Jared, a model-entrepreneur, made instant enemies of Marco the auditor/comedian because he stole away Katie when the latter was trying to make his move. Both Jared and CJ, a basketball player from Dallas, ended up making out with Daniella, as did Vince with Katie.
Meanwhile, Pierce the L.A. yoga instructor decided to play it cool while not approaching any of the women, as did Shaun, an L.A. personal trainer, who just seemed bored.
The entertaining part of the premiere didn’t really start until elimination time, when the women have to figure out who send home without getting rid of the actual good guys — individuals who not only are looking for love but who would be willing to split the prize money.
This proves to be the biggest challenge for the women, who are obviously blinded by good looks and smooth moves. By the end of the two-episode premiere, three nice guys were sent home — Bryce; Dio, a Chippendales dancer from Las Vegas, and Tanner, a manual (?) therapist from Anaheim (who totally started to cry). The actual Fboys who the women managed to eliminate were Shaun; Ian, a branding dude from Nashville; and Kris, who’s in sales from San Diego.
“Why do women say they want somebody who is emotional and in tune with their emotions,” said a heartsick Tanner, in his final interview. “Do I let my emotions out or do I not? I don’t know anymore.”
Ouch. With that, the remaining 18 men went back to the bro chateau to await their next date.
FBoy Island airs Mondays on The CW.